Ronald McDonald Jail Break The nation trembles as the government tries to track down this elusive criminal. Canada and Northeast sections of Cuba were in a panic early this week as the infamous drug dealer - Ronald McDonald forcibly broke free of the eternal sentence given to him. The maximum-security prison was astounded that such an innocent looking (yet vulgar) clown could cause such a panic. The citizens that were in the alleged areas McDonald had been retreated to underground fortresses built for this very purpose, to obtain protection from this inexorable criminal. We dug up Ronald’s extensive criminal record. One of his lesser-known crimes is embezzling 44.3 billion dollars from his famous “fast food” restaurant chain by putting illicit “substances” in the “burgers”. When asked to comment on this incident, the head of this fast food chain (name of chain can not be published) had this to say: "Yeah, we know he was involved in the whole 'drug-in-burger' incident that put thousands of kids in hospital, but as long as he can still move burgers who cares!! Ha ha, ahh... are we started yet... wait... oh... your not recording this... ahh...". Other crimes committed include: destroying the ozone layer, and eliminating all social morale in the most eastern provinces of Canada. Police suspect he has lost the clown disguise. Pictured here is a sketch artist’s interpretation of Ronald’s new appearance. If you have seen this man, please call 1-800-STOP RON. The law values your participation. Please help us catch this relentless killer.