From: Plonq Subject: A Plonqie Christmas Date: December 19, 1998 19:06 Plonq stepped back to inspect his handiwork. Three stockings hung in a row over the fireplace: a large snow leopard-sized sock and two tiny ones about the right size for the cat that was rubbing around the morph's ankles. A hand-written label was taped to the wall over each of the socks, identifying them as belonging to "Plonq", "Pixil" and "Bit". The cat whose name the last lable bore was brushing around the feline's ankles, occasionally mewling when it she noticed that she had not captured his undivided attention. Plonq absently gave her back a quick stroke with the tip of his tail, and adjusted the angle on one of the socks. Better. When he was satisfied with the result of his work, he paced to the centre of the room and reviewed all of his preparations. The Charlie-Brownish Christmas tree by the front window leaned slightly, in spite of the books that Plonq had stacked under the legs of its stand. An angel stood sentry duty on the top of the tree, watching the room with its unblinking, benign cherubic gaze. A single string of lights - most of which worked - lent the tree a sparse, but none-the-less cheery air. The snow leopard had forgotten to buy new ornaments again this year, and many of the decorations hanging from the tree were held together by scotch tape. Three sloppily wrapped gifts sat under the tree, stray needles mixing with the copious quantities of snow leopard fur that was stuck to the tape. In the archway leading from the living room to the dining room hung a bedraggled sprig of plastic mistletoe. The telephone by the sofa had been placed on the floor to make room on the end table for a plate of home-baked cookies (well, he'd cheated and used a frozen cookie mix, but that was his little secret), and a frosty glass of milk. Plonq rubbed his hands and purred. "All set," he said, bending over to tease the cat's ears. The little feline purred in response as he swept her up in his arms and toddled off to bed. As he stepped out of the room, one of the lights on the tree winked out with a muted "pop". Plonq pulled on his tattered Nala-print nightshirt and snuggled down into bed, barely able to contain his excitement. Christmas was his favourite time of year! A few minutes later he heard the pad of little feet on the floor as Pixil came to join him in bed. As the three felines settled down for the night, Plonq stroked his two cats and pondered. "I've been a good cat this year, haven't I?" he asked rhetorically. The other two purred as if they thought he was the most wonderful snow leopard in the world. Plonq rumbled back contentedly, and murmured, "This is going to be the best Christmas ever!" That night he dreamt of romping through the snow with his cub-hood friends. Plonq awoke the next morning with the first ray of crisp, winter sunshine that cut through his bedroom window. As he sat up, wiping the sleep from his eyes, he could hear the glorious cacophony of church bells, ringing their adulation to the heavens. His little furry heart skipped a beat as he remembered that this was THE morning; the dawn of the most special day of the year! He threw off his bed covers and sprang to his feet, mewling with unadulterated glee. He padded out to the kitchen, feigning coolness, though it took an act of supreme will to keep himself from dashing into the living room, giggling like a cub. The two cats greeted him with a chorus of meows in anticipation of their breakfast. "I have a treat for you today," said Plonq. He pulled a tin of gourmet "Tuna with Cheese Bits" from the shelf and snapped it into the can opener. The cats did not get tinned food often enough to connect with the sound, but their sensitive noses quickly picked up the delicious aroma as he lifted the top from the tin. The snow leopard could barely stem his own drooling as he spooned out the food into a dish, and he indulged himself with a little taste. Yum! While the cats buried their muzzles in their breakfast, Plonq busied himself with the task of making coffee. Although the smell of the tuna made his stomach rumble with anticipation, he decided to retire to the living room with a coffee before preparing his own Christmas meal. By the time the coffee was done brewing, his cats had finished their breakfast and were grooming themselves contentedly. "Shall we amble into the other room? I have another treat for you," mewled Plonq. He cradled his coffee mug protectively in both hands and made his way to the front room. When he got there, he found that things were not quite as he would have liked them. The first thing he noticed was a very strong smell of milk. The glass that he had left on the end table appeared to have tipped over during the night. Little wet footprints around the table showed that his cats had valiantly tried to lap it all up off the floor, but a fair percentage of it had soaked into the throw rug. One of the small presents had been dragged out from under the Christmas tree, and much of its wrapping paper had been chewed away. Shreds of festive paper were strewn everywhere. At least the stockings did not appear to have been disturbed during the night. "Hrm?" Plonq felt a tiny knot of apprehension forming in his gut as he gently plucked down his stocking from its spot over the fireplace. At first glance it appeared to be empty. He held up the sock by its toe and gave it an experimental shake, but nothing fell out of it. The little snow leopard pushed his hand down into the sock, and turned it inside out, confirming his original suspicion. Plonq stared mutely at the empty sock, ostensibly motionless except for a twitch of his whiskers. With a blink, and a hard swallow, he pulled down the two tiny stockings to verify that they were also empty. Just like last Christmas. Silly of him to think that this one would be any different. The morph sighed, and carefully rolled up the stockings to put them away for another year. The little feline shuffled out of the room with his rolled-up stockings, and returned a few minutes later with a damp cloth to wipe up the spilled milk. He righted the overturned glass, and set to work piling the scattered bits of wrapping paper on the plate with the stale cookies. About the time he had the room looking presentable again, his two cats meandered in to see what he was doing. When he spied the two, he gave a mewl of greeting, and said, "You're just in time for your surprise!" Plonq pulled the two little presents out from under the tree and unwrapped them while the cats watched with vacuous interest. He opened the chewed parcel first, since the job was already half done. "Oooh!" he purred, "it's a catnip mouse toy!" The second package revealed an identical treat. He presented the toys to his cats, who each assumed that the other's present was better, and commenced to quarrel. Plonq gave a longsuffering sigh, and picked up the large present with his name on it. He carried it over to the sofa and, with a gleeful wring of his hands, tore into the wrapping paper. Oh joy! It was the fish-mincer that he had always wanted! The snow leopard acted surprised for the benefits of his cats, but he knew beforehand what he was getting, since he had purchased it a week earlier at the Bargain Shop down the road. He carried it back over to the tree and placed it under one of the boughs, his arm brushing down a rain of needles. The cats had quit fighting, and while Bit lay on her back, rubbing the catnip toy against her face, her brother had become bored and wandered out of the room. Plonq gathered up the last of the Christmas paper, humming "Jingle Bells" to himself while his tail thumped in time with the tune. As he carried it out to the kitchen, he mused that it hadn't been such a bad Christmas after all - certainly MUCH better than last year! With those happy thoughts dancing through his feline brain, Plonq refilled his coffee cup, and began gathering up the ingredients to make himself a festive Kraft Dinner. The memory of the empty stockings and spilled milk fled from him in the bliss of the moment. After all, it's not every day that a cat gets a fish-mincer for Christmas! And with that, I bid the best of the holiday to you all! Mrowr. * Plonq.