From: Plonq Subject: Re: Corny, Squishy-Sweet Message Time Date: Sunday, February 01, 1998 1:33 PM * Plonq growls. "This newsgroup ain't going all corny, squishy-sweet as long as THIS little morph still draws breath." Noting that the newsgroup is in mortal danger of becoming too sedate and friendly again, the little snow leopard morph decides to haul out the big guns. He emerges from his lurking place, packing the latest device from Flammology Laboratories. Yes! - It's a FurBurner 2000 (tm) Flame-O-Matic with double-pump action and dual kerosene jets. The little morph enters the newsgroup, almost lost under the web of patent leather straps, braided cables and tubes. He waddles a bit under the weight of two very large chrome tanks, held to his back by a set of awkward-looking harnesses. Then tanks bear the red FL logo (of a smoldering furry corpse), below which are the dire warnings (in large, black type) "Danger: contents under pressure. Do not use in enclosed spaces. Not recommended for kits and cubs under 3." One would think this morph would be happily bouncing around the channel, giggling evilly and toasting everyfur in sight like a cub with a new toy, but Plonq just sighs sadly and runs a furry hand lightly over the molded plastic grip. Here he stands, armed with the latest power-flamer, ready to spew forth streams of burning indignation into the newsgroup - but for a small oversight on his part. In the delighted heat of tearing off shrink-wrap, one might forgive and understand a morph if he neglected to read the manual. So here he stands, strapped into several MegaZorkmids worth of newsgroup-flaming hardware, flagging down passing furs and asking, "Your pardon, good fur, but do you have a light?" Plonq ----- Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines. Remove something from the mail headers to reply.