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The pattern of abuse is like a downward spiral that goes round and round in a predictable way:
1. Tension: You may experience verbal attacks or feel like you need to “walk on eggshells” to avoid triggering abuse. 2. Explosion: Something sets off the abuser. You are late getting home or you forget to fill the gas tank or the laundry is not folded or you were too nice to the clerk. The tension of phase one erupts into an episode of abuse. 3. Honeymoon: Things seem great. Your partner apologizes and makes promises. You accept the excuses—it was just stress or alcohol, or it was your fault. You may get roses or a dinner out or new lingerie. You tell yourself the abuse is over. 4. The cycle continues, accelerates, and intensifies. Abusers say “it will never happen again.” But it will happen again. And again and again. Unless you get help.
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The Cycle of Abuse |
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