The scene changed to a familiar one: the Neutralian debate hall where
Jim had made his speech. The decor was more spartan in this scene. There
were fewer insignia on the walls. Much less heraldry cluttered the
rafters. As the image came into full focus Jim could see that a debate was
already in progress. A tall, middle-aged woman held the floor. The
audience filled the auditorium to overflowing. Some spectators had to
stand against the back wall.
"Living alongside the fear-based has proven to be disastrous,"
maintained the speaker. "We had hoped that they might learn from our
example. We had hoped that by inviting their better students to our
universities we might be able to impart more than our science and
technology. We wanted them to embrace our ideals. Our values. Our vision
of the future.
"As we all know, the various factions brought their fears and
jealousies with them. They fought to uncover our technological advances
and then quickly converted them into military applications. Military
advantages. Perhaps we should have been more wary. Did we not notice that
seventy percent of their science and engineering graduates were
subsequently employed by their militaries? Or did we choose not to
notice this?"
The woman had been groping for a word which did not exist in LOOP:
"naive".
"We saw them learn our language and mimic our ways while on
Neutralia. Then they returned to their home worlds and made ready to kill
each other. The OMLTs invaded Neutralia. We all remember the occupation.
We all remember the rationalization. We were being occupied by the OMLTs
pre-emptively, lest the Sinesics or Ki'nans be tempted to occupy us.
Neutralians who spoke hopefully of life after the occupation were
slaughtered. Sinesic or Ki'nan `spies' and `sympathizers', they were
called. Neutralia was turned into a place where sympathy could be fatal.
"And as the years of occupation passed, our children began to
despair. Hope--the very thing that defines us--faded from our youth. As
our friends regressed into paranoid barbarism we regressed into fear and
solipsism.
"The hope-based living with the fear-based, then, interfered with the
development of both cultures. It was a recipe for catastrophe. Let us
learn from this mistake. And let us never repeat it."
The woman bowed her head and retreated to her chair on the platform in
the centre of the room. Neutralians of all ages slapped their thighs in
appreciation of her sentiments. The crowd seemed almost unanimous in their
loyalties thus far.
Dirka stood up and stepped off the platform. He looked older. Naked
lines streaked from the corners of his mouth and eyes. Small gray hairs
desecrated his temples. Clasping his hands behind his back, he lowered his
head as he waited for the thigh-slapping to subside. Once he had their
attention he addressed the people in the great hall.
"Everything my counterpart has just told you is true. Where we
disagree is on the conclusion, the lesson that we should learn from these
events. Segregation. That is what she proposes. Let both groups
barricade themselves behind their ignorance of each other. Let Neutralians
isolate themselves from the fear-based until we forget them entirely. Let
Neutralians forget those who represent our own past. Let us forget how far
we have come by removing those behind us. Let us stagger in the darkness
without our own footsteps to guide us.
"And what of the fear-based? Will they benefit from this
segregation? Will they progress faster in isolation? Do students learn
faster without teachers? Without examples?
"And how long will the fear-based remain ignorant of our existence?
How long before they look around and find that they are the only species on
this new planet without a discernible ancestry? Yes, it might take them
centuries to intuit our existence. Perhaps eons. Eons of struggle and
speculation. Eons of inventing us.
"Our destiny as Neutralians is inexorably linked to theirs. Any such
attempt to deny this is an ill-chosen ignorance. We condemn our friends to
themselves."
Dirka finished his argument and returned to his chair. There was only
a smattering of applause, concentrated among the younger Neutralians in the
audience.
A fragment from one of Cory McGuire's poems flashed through Jim's
mind: "...the finest among us; the ones who still felt that their dreams
could come true..."
The moderator of the Neutralian debate, an olive-skinned Rubinesque
woman in her forties, stood up and waited for silence.
"It is decided, then," she announced. "Our friends will occupy the
planet while we remain here. We will pursue our destinies separately.
"Now," she continued. "We have another difficult issue to resolve.
This candidate planet has a suitable atmosphere and climate. Food and
water are in abundance. The problem is a lack of eltica. There are only
traces of it. These are concentrated in only one area: the mountainous
region of its largest continent. Without this critical vitamin our friends
will have less than a third their natural life span. Indeed, much less
than a century. We have suggested that the fear-based remain with us until
we have found them another home. The decision, however, must be theirs.
Our friends have chosen Turmek of Sinesia to present their response."
Turmek stepped forward to address the crowd. He was a short, stocky
man with dark, oval eyes peeking out from under an awning of two arborial
eyebrows. He wore clothes: a tight-fitting blue and white body suit,
ankle-high brown boots on his feet and a blood red sash draped across his
waist. He spoke in good LOOP, although not as well as a native Neutralian.
"Everything we have held dear to us is gone now, a victim of our
efforts to defend it. While the Phalka remained apart from our warring, we
OMLTs, Sinesics and Ki'nans have no illusions of innocence. But it is too
late for self-recrimination. Let us concentrate on our future. On our
children: the heirs to our well-earned misfortune. Let us focus
specifically on whether this planet will provide that future.
"We have discussed this. OMLT, Sinesic, Ki'nan and Phalka are all in
agreement. We do not want to wait another generation. The fact that this
planet can support us is obvious. Indeed, there are pre-hominoids there
already. I understand that some of them will be evacuated in anticipation
of our...displacing them.
"We understand that our life expectancy will be much shorter here.
During the course of our lives each of us develops a wide circle of friends
and family. Over time this affection grows deeper and deeper. The task
each of us faces is to measure life by these widths and these depths,
rather than by its length.
"For decades our peoples will gather around camp fires and speak
fondly of you Neutralians. But in time the fires will die and these
stories will fade into legend. Then we will be forced to understand that
our destiny is in our own hands. We will have forgotten you."
"Never!" cried one onlooker. The image focused on a tall, dark man
with straight black hair. Jim was struck at how much the man resembled
Monat. The man's accented LOOP, combined with the fact that, like Turmek,
he was wearing clothes, told Jim that he was not Neutralian. The man stood
beside Turmek to address the assembly.
"We Phalka will never forget you!" he swore. "We have agreed to live
separately on the southern island continent to avoid serving as a reminder.
But the memory of this rescue, this transplanting, will always be with us
and our descendants. We will remember our friendship with you as our dream
time. But we will never forget you!"
"It is decided, then," announced the moderator. "All that is left
will be our farewells."
"Speaking on behalf of OMLT, Sinesia, Ki'na and Phalka," Turmek
said, turning to the Phalkan beside him to ascertain that there was no
objection to him speaking for them, "we would like to thank you from the
bottom of our hearts. We know that you will always be with us, in spirit
at least. I believe you Neutralians have a word for it: kalticada."
"Kaltica" is a word belonging to a the Conundrum & Oxymoron group of
nouns in the LOOP language. Roughly, it translates to "a friend we haven't
met". "Kalticada" was the plural.
"Farewell, kalticada."
As the dignitaries stood to end the meeting Dirka stepped forward with
an unscheduled announcement.
"There is one more good-bye which needs to be said."
The moderating panel members looked at each other quizzically. The
Neutralians in the crowd began to murmur. Dirka went on.
"I will respect the decision of this august body to disassociate
Neutralia from our friends. As an individual and as a matter of
conscience, however, I cannot comply. I will, therefore, take the Wintaka
Pledge."
The murmur matured to a collective groan.
"Wintaka!" gasped the moderator. "But we haven't had this for two
whole cycles!"
"I pledge to live among the fear-based, renouncing all rights of
Neutralian inclusion," Dirka began, placing his right hand on his chest.
"This is preposterous!" the moderator objected. The crowd grew more
agitated, sitting in their seats and clucking their disapproval.
"I pledge to guard the secret of Neutralia's existence," Dirka
persisted.
"Can we not discuss this?" begged the moderator.
"I pledge to guard the secrets of Neutralian science and medicine,"
Dirka recited, ignoring all objections.
Suddenly there was movement with the audience. Some of the younger
members stood, placed their hands over their hearts, and joined Dirka in
his pledge. Beside them, their friends and relatives shrieked in horror
and protest.
"I pledge to devote my life and the lives of my descendants to
sharing the Wintaka dream," Dirka and the other Wintaka chorused.
One Neutralian mother began crying uncontrollably, clutching at her
young daughter as the girl swore her oath.
"And," the Wintaka promised in unison and conclusion, "I pledge
hope."
The picture on the surface of the pond remained frozen, then faded.
Jim was left speechless, his hand quivering as the Mensaplasms remained
clustered around it. Silence ensued for a full minute before Pinky spoke.
"Esperanza muerto al ultima," the Ponder said. Jim did not need a
translation. He had read enough about the Spanish Civil War to recognize
"no pasaron" and "hope dies last".
"I-I-I'm sorry," he stuttered. "I have to go."
"Jim?" Pinky pleaded.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry if this has been...a little too much for you."
"Yeah. I just need some time...you know...to let things sink in."
"I know you wanted to talk about your mother. Perhaps later?"
"Yeah, sure. Later."
Jim drew his hand out of the water and stood up. He staggered towards
the house, his mind swirling. Once inside, he collapsed on his sofa. He
quickly grew exhausted by the mental machinations the Ponders had inspired.
The manuscripts he was supposed to read lay on the coffee table. He
approached them like a mountain climber approaches an ice crevice. There
were only three days before his deadline. Perhaps work would take his mind
off things for a while.
Five minutes later work had succeeded in nothing more than putting Jim
to sleep.
An elderly man came into view, his eyes, smile and silvery hair
shimmering in the soft light of hallway lamps.
"You must be Kolry, the Wintaka," guessed the host. Jim nodded. As
in his previous dreams, Jim's guide led him down the hall to a meeting
room. Along the way Jim heard the residents of this strange place
debating. From what he could make out, power and responsibility were the
topics of conversation. In some of the smaller rooms residents sat alone
in quiet contemplation. The older man opened a door, excused himself, and
retreated down the hallway.
Jim peered into the room. This time there was no crowd, no panel or
committee. There was only one person inside, a young woman with long black
hair and dark skin. She had her back to Jim as she stared through a
window. It was not clear what had caught her attention.
"Meeka?" Jim called, his pulse jumping at the possibility.
The young woman turned around.
"Shit!" thought Jim. "It isn't Meeka. And now I've made a damned
fool of myself here."
"Pardon?"
"I'm sorry," Jim blushed, "I mistook you for someone else."
"No need to apologize," said the woman. "I often do that myself."
There was something in the woman's tone and syntax that made her last
remark unclear. Did she mean she often confused people with each other?
Or was she alluding to some identity crisis, confusing herself with others?
Jim did not pursue the subject.
"I know this may sound silly," he began, "but could you tell me
where I am?"
"Not such a silly question at all, Wintaka," she replied. "In
fact, a very profound one. One of many questions my people are wrestling
with."
"Uh, well, maybe you could tell me something about your people. And
maybe that will tell me where I am."
"First, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jeka. I understand
your name is Kolry?"
"James Kolry McGuire," Jim expounded.
"Introducing my people will not be so easy," Jeka temporized
pensively. After giving the task some thought she tried to clarify
matters.
"Have you ever wondered what you would do if you could do anything?"
"Well, I'm sure I have at some time or another. It's a fairly
common fantasy--"
"It is not a fantasy for us, Kolry. It is a stark reality. A
reality complicated somewhat by the fact that all of the others here have
the same power."
Yes, thought Jim, that would complicate things. Jim's dreams of
omnipotence had always been monotheistic.
"Some would argue that equal power amounts to no power," Jeka
observed. "But that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking
about the ability to create. Matter from energy. Energy from matter.
Life. Whole universes, if we want to."
"And what do you plan to do with all of this knowledge?"
"Another very astute question, Wintaka!"
Jim recognized that Jeka was flattering him. Perhaps even patronizing
him. After all, the LOOP word "valtika" meant "improvement". Its passive
voice, "valtikaga", translates to "practical knowledge", while its
aggressive voice, "valtikakoi", meant "power". Power is the aggressive
form of knowledge. Hell, any three-year-old Neutralian knew that!
"My people have overcome their fears," Jeka explicated. "They have
realized all of their hopes. And they have discovered all of the secrets
of the universes. But the question arises: What do we do with all of
this knowledge? Let me illustrate. If each of us were to create, say, a
universe, we must have some ground rules. Otherwise, the universes would
collide. There would be chaos. Do you understand what I'm saying so
far?"
Jim nodded, cueing Jeka to continue.
"So my people must come to some agreement. Rules. And, unlike the
Terranian's democratic approach, our agreement has to be unanimous. A veto
vote, if you like. After all, we can't have a rogue `god', can we?"
Jim shook his head and interposed a query: "But what if one of your
people won't agree to the rules. Or is likely to break them?"
After all, he wondered to himself, who's going to arrest a "god"?
"Then we are back to square one. We need an agreement that satisfies
everyone. And that," she said with an air of finality, "is who and where
my people are."
Jim tried to nod sagely. He was not as good at it as his grandfather
had been. He pursed his lips, squinted his eyes and bobbed his head
slowly. It was the best he could do.
"Which brings us to you, Wintaka. And your appeal."
"Ah, yes," Jim bluffed, "my appeal."
"As you see," Jeka explained, "we are a thought-based people.
Action--any action--by us would be premature. It would imply that we have
already come to a decision. We have not."
"And so you cannot help," Jim stated.
When Jim awoke his skin was free of the perspiration other dreams had
caused. His heart was not pounding. This dream had recurred three times
with only small variations. It was beginning to make sense to him. In
fact, he formulated a theory about where his next dream would take him.
What time was it? Seven thirty. He had been napping for over five
hours. He rose from the couch and headed outside, grabbing a pail full of
dry dog food for Bernice's evening snack as he did so. Depositing the
pellets into her dish, Jim ambled up the driveway to the road. Bernice
glanced alternately at her dinner in the bowl and master in the driveway.
Forced to choose between the hunger for food and the hunger for adventure
she chose the latter, bounding past Jim and up the road. Bernice was,
after all, a McGuire dog.
Jim was focused on his hypothesis concerning his next dream. If he
was correct this last "appeal" might be most trying of them all. Lost in
his musings, Jim ended up walking all the way to Horton's farm.
Darkness had fallen during his distraction. The new moon night left him
lost in more than thought. Without the luxury of street lamps, Gladen
Drive was no more than a faint outline. Jim turned and began stumbling
back towards home. Seeing her owner's predicament, Bernice trotted to the
fore, guiding her master back home with impatient barks. Dinner awaited,
the dog must have thought, couldn't he hurry up? Ultimately, in the long
and fine tradition of St. Bernards, Bernice led the lost to safety.
The evening chill tempted Jim into the house to warm up before
contacting the Mensaplasms. He watched the third reel once more,
marvelling at his mother's virtuosity. When it finished he trudged back to
the pond and re-established contact with Pinky.
"I had another dream," he stated matter-of-factly.
"The thought-based rejected your appeal?" Pinky asked.
Jim relaxed. The Ponders could have chosen to feign ignorance,
forcing Jim to recount the events of his dream. But an understanding was
developing. The games were coming to an end. Soon they would reveal their
true motive for contacting him. In doing so, Jim felt, they would probably
be doing nothing more than confirming his suspicions.
"Yes. Of course, there is still one avenue of appeal left, isn't
there?"
It was a statement with a nominal question mark.
"Yes, but it is difficult to be optimistic."
"Wasn't it you who said `hope dies last'?"
Pinky chuckled at the rejoinder.
"Yes, I guess it was," he agreed. "So you have come to learn about
your parents, have you?"
"My mother," Jim corrected. "I don't care about my father. I've come
to talk about Mom."
Jim surprised himself with the word "Mom". He could not remember
using such a term of familiarity before.
"Have you been watching those films again?"
"Yes," Jim answered. "Especially the one where she sings in that old
cafe."
"Perhaps you'd like to see more of her performance?"
"Would I!? Hell, yes!"
"Very well, then," Pinky complied, amused by Jim's sudden show of
enthusiasm. "Ready, everybody? A one and a two and a three..."
The pond surface shimmered with colour and light as an image appeared.
Cory McGuire was tuning her guitar and engaging the audience in banter.
"Is everyone enjoying themselves? Good. Good. This next song is
about gamblers and debutants. And fighters. Any gamblers here tonight?
No? Well, maybe there's more than we realize. Any debs? No, I shouldn't
think so. What about fighters? Any fighters? No? Or is that just
wishful thinking on my part?"
The audience laughed politely. Finished her tuning and talking, Cory
strummed her instrument. The beat was a gay three-quarter rhythm. The
chord progression seemed vaguely familiar. Jim listened carefully to the
words as they tripped from his mother's tongue:
The gambler sees his next card as his last source of mercy
He calls a St. Bernard every time that he gets thirsty.
He knows he's in the game. He knows the deck will be stacked.
As he reaches for a bag that he knows is never unpacked.
Chorus:
And I just don't know
If it's a struggle
Or a show.
Debutante sees her dance card as her next source of pleasure
Steals a glance, takes a chance, but knows she cannot measure
The world that lies behind those eyes, looking back in terror
Is this a test? A joke? A jest? Or just another error?
The fighter sees his next card as his last hope of glory
They say it's like a dance (just a little bit more gory)
He leaves the fans all cheering, but he leaves a man there kneeling
And it's cost him all his senses, it's cost him all his feeling.
As the last chorus finished Jim asked the Ponders if they would play
the song again.
"Of course," Pinky said. "After all, we don't get many requests."
The Mensaplasm's humour caught Jim off guard. He shifted his weight
uncomfortably on the pond bank and retorted: "Is it any wonder,
considering the amenities?"
Without a word of objection the Ponders replayed the song six times
until Jim had memorized the lyrics and stopped requesting it.
"Thank you," Jim thought. "You've been very kind."
"You did it!" Pinky exclaimed proudly. "You've learned to think
in the second person!"
"Listen," Jim said, "it's getting late. Would you mind putting off
this discussion until tomorrow?"
"No, of course not, Jim."
He felt the familiar tingle in his hand as he was extracting it from
the water. Before he could get it clear, however, he sensed Pinky calling
him.
"Jim! One last thing!"
"What's that?"
"Vaya con dios."
If there were any doubts in Jim's mind about his next dream Pinky had
just erased them.
On to Chapter 16
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