The Line Dance Lessons
 

There’s a country kind of dance done all in a line
Here in the south you see it all the time.
So my friend and I decided to learn
That’s when this thing takes a real bad turn.

Off we go – we’re gonna take lessons!
We’re pumped, but we know it will take a few sessions.
It’s only four dollars and we can go every week.
We’ll learn to line dance and be light on our feet.

What do we see when we first get there?
Several old ladies, most sitting in chairs.
Now, I’m no spring chicken myself and I’m plump
But I’m sure after seeing them I can keep up!

The teacher is a small fragile little thing.
She’s classy and flashy with all of her rings.
Our first lesson is ABBA – a cute little dance.
I might even learn it under the right circumstance.

About halfway through the first hour I ask,
“How long do these dance sessions usually last? ”
We started at seven and it goes till nine
(Great! Been here 30 minutes and I’m starting to whine!)

By the end of the first hour I’m starting to sweat.
My slacks are clingy ‘cause my legs are all wet.
Now comes the hard one they call “Cha Cha Slide”
I wrenched my knee and I could have died!

There’s pain shooting down from my knee to my foot.
I really should stop – I really know I should.
But these geriatric dancers can’t get the better of me!
So I stick it out ‘cause I’m tough, don’t you see?

It’s 8: 30 now and I’ve had all I can take.
It’s time to give my old fat ass a break.
I signal my friend as I walk out the door.
I’ll wait in the car – I can’t take anymore.

My line dancing days never even got started.
But my sweet little hubby didn’t seem brokenhearted.
As I limped in the door he asked “You all right? ”
I told him “Oh, it’s been quite a night”.

I’ll need an appointment to see my doctor now.
Need a brace for my knee, but I’ll make it somehow.
I think I’ll stick to working out at home.
It’ll cost a lot less for me in the long run.

Donna McCord