The Simpsons and Sex Quotes
(Note see also Andrew Mutchler's `The Simpsons Sex' list.)
- Wiggum quotes:
- [9F13] ``I keep my pants on in this version.''
[9F22] ``It's a good thing you drifted by this brothel.''
[1F22] ``Do not be alarmed, continue swimming naked... Aw, c'mon, continue! Come on!''
- Willy quotes:
- [9F11] ``Back to the Loch with yea, Nessie.''
[9F18] ``If it weren't against God's laws, I'd make you my wife.''
[1F17] ``'tis no more than what God gave me, you puritan pukes!''
- Mayor Quimby quotes:
- [8F07] ``Check out the rack on the blonde in the fourth row!''
[8F15] ``How would you, uh, like a street named after you?''
[1F11] ``I didn't do it.''
[1F16] ``You're killing the romance in here.''
- Bart quotes:
- [7F11] ``Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine with all the
chicks?''
[8F08] ``Whoa! T& A.''
[8F22] ``Milhouse, we're living in the age of cooties.''
[8F22]?``That's where cooties come from.''
[9F13] ``You don't want to know how far I'll go.''
- Burns quotes:
- [7F11] ``That's it baby, work those ankles!''
[8F04] ``Give the great unwashed a pair of oversized breasts and a happy
ending, and they'll oink for more every time.''
[9F05] ``You don't have to sue to get my pants off.'' {Not sure about the
exact quote.}
- Smithers quotes:
- [7G10] ``He's a love machine, sir.''
[7F11] ``Ring-a-ding-ding, sir.''
[7F23] ``Keep that handsome owner out of sight, he's distracting the female
employees.''
[1F21] ``You had sex with that old woman?''
- Homer quotes:
- [8F04] ``And that blonde cutie! Does she have assets!''
[9F09] ``Barney, I'm not getting a sex change.''
[8F01] ``Marge, you have a nice body. And if you'd like to see me in a
costume, you have only to ask.''
[8F16] Maybe it's the beer talking, Marge, but you got a butt that won't
quit. They got those big chewy pretzels here (gibberish) five
dollars?! Get outta here! (trails off)
[9F11] ``That Yentl puts the `she' in Yeshiva.'' {not sure about this one}
[1F07] [To Mindy] ``...we're gonna have sex!''
[1F03] [to Marge] ``You got real purty hair.''
- Grampa quotes:
- [7G05] ``We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs.''
[7F16] ``She did things your mother would never do. Like have sex for
money.''
- Marge quotes:
- [7F02] ``Just between us girls, he hasn't been this frisky in years!''
[8F10] ``Maybe it's the champale talking, but I think you're pretty sexy.''
[8F22] ``They don't open their mouths, do they?''
- Misc quotes:
- [7G10] Martin: ``Who's the sexy lady, Bart?''
[7F09] Dr. Monroe: ``I'm referring to women who love too much...
sexaholism...''
[7F15] Selma: ``It's time to give away my love like so much cheap wine.''
[7F21] Mrs. Quick: ``Filthy! But genuinely arousing.''
[8F06] Kashmere: ``C'on, Apu, honey. Loosen up.''
[8F08] Moe: ``I sleep with a chick once, it costs me half a million
bananas!''
[9F02] Chuck: ``Love that chewing gum walk.''
Ralph: ``Very wrigley.''
[9F04] Patty: ``There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality.''
[9F10] ``You're charming the pants off me.''
[1F07] TV Ad: ``Just do it!.... Examine your scalp for ringworm.''
[2F06] ``Our viewers are not pathetic sexless food tubes.''
