If Homer Simpson surfed the Net

1. ``Don't you guys have something better to do?''
2. ``Springfield is in -- say, what's this key for?'' [click]
3. ``Get it right -- it's spelt `D'oh!''
4. ``Of course, Smithers' gay -- I could have told you that!''
5. ``Sorry, pal -- my first initals are H.J.''
6. ``Mmmm, rec.food.drink.beer.''
7. ``Where can I find alt.swedish.chef.bork.bork.bork?''
8. ``Ooooo, alt.thinking.hurts -- that's for me.''
9. ``Why do they want nude pictures of my wife?!''
10. ``Why are all those Net nerds laughing at me!?''

Parody - not to be taken seriously. Dave Hall (davehall@cyberspc.mb.ca)